The Forgiveness Disconnect

June 23, 2021  

Care-Net and Life Way joined forces a few years back to conduct a survey of women who have had abortions.  The stats reveal where the church is failing and where pregnancy centers can pick up the slack.   

Let’s start with some of their findings.

Forty-two percent of women who have had an abortion agree that pastors teach that God is willing to forgive past abortion decisions.  But 49% also agree that pastors’ teachings on forgiveness don’t seem to apply to terminated pregnancies. 

“God created human life.  He places a sacred value on mankind because men and women are the only creatures made in His own image.  God prohibits the shedding of innocent blood, which is an assault on the image of God. 

The shedding of innocent blood, including the murder of the preborn, is one of the seven things “detestable to God”.  (Genesis 1:27; 9:6; Exodus 20:13;21:22-23;Proverbs 6:16-19)

Further, God gives every mother a nurturing instinct and a natural bond with her children that begins the moment she conceives.  Abortion, a choice to reject the maternal bonding, damages this very strong God-given maternal instinct.

The realization that she killed her own child is even more awful to contemplate.  While she cannot undo the abortion, she is rarely willing to face God with it. 

Her initial reaction is to hide from God and from all the painful and frightening thoughts, feelings and memories.”  (Cooter, Rice, Stoner 1) 

When the pastors teach on forgiveness, it just doesn’t penetrate through all of the counterfeit protections that she has put up.

“The Counterfeit Protections are:

  • Denies abortion is murder, denies responsibility for the decision, denies that she is now a mother, etc.
  • Represses painful memories and feelings from her conscious mind, even becoming incapable of remembering significant aspects of the abortion or forgetting later abortions.
  • Self-Deception, even to the extent of believing a false reality.
  • Self-Atonement, trying to pay the penalty for sin by doing good works (prolife work, being a “prefect mother”, super-achieving, having a replace or atonement child) and/or by punishing or degrading herself (continuing to condemn herself, accepting abuse, attempting suicide, withholding pleasure from herself).
  • Self-Justification, trying to sufficiently explain or excuse her sin so she can cling to the idea that she is a “good person”.  She may reinforce her justifications by persuading others to abort.  Some women go to the extreme of demanding society’s approval.
  •  Withdraws from other people, even to the point of isolation, usually because of shame, fear of rejection, and/or depression.
  • Avoids physical, emotional, and spiritual reminders of the abortion in order to keep other protections in place.” (Cooter, Rice, Stoner 1) 

While post abortive women have this mental and spiritual block from accepting forgiveness, complete healing is within reach. 

The Pregnancy Center of Dillon offers an Abortion Recovery support group Bible Study.  It is completely confidential and is currently being conducted through Zoom. 

If you want to learn more about your pregnancy options, contact us today @ 843.616.6559, send an email to tpcofdillon@gmail.com, or fill out our contact form.

If you would like to donate to the Pregnancy Center to keep ministries like this going, click on the donate button.

1.  Cooter, Rice, Stoner. “Biblical Perspective on Post-Abortion Distress in Women.” Facilitating Biblical Healing, p 15-16